I’m on a mission today to get this message out loud and clear to the universe!
It’s 2 days after Father’s day and I happened to come across this video this morning:
This video was like the straw that broke the camel’s back! First, I would like to say, Mr. Crews kudos to you for stepping up and making a statement so full of truth that if only our generation understood and embraced our society would look a whole lot different than it does now. Mr. Crews said:
There are somethings that ONLY a father can give you…. and this is what I believe, I believe this from my heart. We care more about organic food than we do organic people. There are things you need from your father. Your father starts out, he gives you your name… he tells you who you are. The second thing he gives you is your inheritance. Now that doesn’t mean money. You inherit his story… The third thing your father gives you is your security. I’m not just talking about your protection, which that does include, I’m talking about your confidence because when your father tells you you can do something, you believe you can do it… What I’m telling you is that a man has got to give him security somewhere in his life…
I was taken aback at the reaction that Whoopi and her co-host had to Mr. Crews words…. and I guess that did it for me! At the end it looked like Whoopi sort of got what Mr. Crews was saying but I do not think they fully comprehend the life changing truth that lays in his words. So, this morning, I got tired of it!
I got tired of the excessive feminism. I got tired of the bitter and hurt woman response. I got tired of the “independent woman – I don’t need no man – prideful, single mother” reaction to anything that indicates the importance of a man and our need for them. I got tired of the lie that as a woman, I can provide everything my children need, without a man. I got tired of the men bashing.
It seemed as if this morning, everything pertaining to devaluing a man’s worth that I have heard through the years of my life came rushing into my mind and heart and I GOT TIRED OF IT! So I typed this post today:
IT’ IS NOT FAIR! For too long we have trodden on the male gender. YES, I know there are those who have been making bad decisions for centuries and their decisions have hurt too many of us women, their children, their family and their friends and they will have to answer to God for every decision they have made, but women, to pretend like we do not need them is a big lie to try to convince ourselves to believe. The very child that you love and would die for, needed that man that you claim you do not need, to come into existence.
WOMEN: You CAN NOT give your child everything they need from their PARENTS! You can not give your child what a father was designed to give his child because you are NOT a man! Vice versa, a man can not give his child what a mother was designed to give a child because he is not a woman! A child needs their mother AND father in their life! Being a single mother is NOT the ideal picture. You are doing what you have to do, not because that’s the way you want to do it. You know just as well as I know, you desire a wholesome man as a husband and father for your children and if he comes along, life would be different and better. Mr. Crews was right when he said a father provides the security for his child.
I AM THAT CHILD that didn’t have that security!
I am that child that did NOT get the security from my father. I am that child that had insecurities when it came to how I view myself and my identity as a female in relation to a man. I am that child that did not experience the love of my biological father. I am that child that did not have the physical protection of her father but, what was much more a necessity, the mental and emotional protection and security of my father. I am that child that did not have an example of a wholesome, live-in father-faithfully-married-to-my-mother so that I could see for myself what a father and husband should be like. I am that child that did not have my father to set the standard for what I should look for in a man as a husband.
My mother gave me and my brother all she could as a single mom but even she will tell you she realized that she could not give us everything; she could not give us what a father could. My mother believed this so much so that when my brother hit his teens she enrolled him into an all boy school so that he could be around more male authority figures and have male mentors and be around other young boys fraternizing and learning together.
My brother and myself NEEDED our fathers. They were not there. I will not bash them for not being there because I do not know the full story of their lives and their experience with my mother and mother with them. However, their absence has had a GREAT adverse affect on my brother and I and it was not until my late 20’s that I started to better comprehend this.
About two years ago my best friend and I, after years of sharing with each other what we have learned from the absence of our fathers, decided to make a video to share with other women what we have learned about ourselves because of this and in hopes that it would help other fatherless persons start to begin introspection and understand how much they have truly been affected by their absent fathers.
So my mission today is to let the world know that “MEN, WE NEED YOU!” We need you to walk in your destiny and be what God has designed you to be. When you do not take your rightful place we are all adversely affected. When you choose to walk away from your responsibility and live selfishly you are leaving a trail of broken hearts and broken people that have to find a way to pick up the broken pieces and do life without you; without you IT IS DIFFICULT because “without you” is not how it’s suppose to be done. When we all stop thinking about ourselves and take responsibility for each other then we start to understand how much we need each other. Men, we need you, you need us women and we need each other to help heal society and build a better generation for the future world.